How much do I love you?

*Beep*

Me: "Thank you for calling ATM support"
Tech: "Yes this ....I'm at atm >>>>> for a printer fault"
M: "Ok what is going on?"
T: "Well I have not touch the printer yet."
M: ? "Ok, why not?"
T: "Well someone decided for Valentine's day to spray paint a heart with a Jerry loves Marry on the ATM"
M: *laugh* "Really?"
T: *Chuckle* "Yep."

So why did you marry him?
Because he spray painted a heart with our names on a ATM.

Heard from work

*Beep*
Me: Thank you for calling ATM Network Support
Customer: (raspy and mummling) Yes my name is....and one your ATM didn't give me my cash.
M: Ok, do you have a receipt?
C: No.
M: Ok, what is the address that this ATM is at
C: It is at ....
(Never could find the location and at one point hacked for about an minuet)
M: Hello?
C: Yes, I'm still here
M: Ok what you need to do is go to your bank and fill out a claim for your cash you didn't receive.
C: I did that they said it has been too long.
M: (?) No, that shouldn't matter, wait how long ago did this happen?
C: 2002. I just got out of Jail.

As they say crime doesn't pay.

Heard from work

This title will be any calls that I receive that I find amusing or strange. I will not give names of customers or techs to save them the embarrassment and for the safety of law suits.
*Beep*
Me: Thank you for calling ATM Network Support
Customer (upset): Yes I just used your ATM and it captured my card.
M: Ok did it give you your cash or a receipt?
C: Yes i received both.
M: Ok on the receipt there should be an ATM ID please read it off to me.

(ID given and information brought up)

M: Ok what you will need to do is contact the card provider and have them issue you a new card.
C: No, you have to get this card out of the ATM this is my mother's card.
M: It is who's card?
C: My mother's and she doesn't know that I have it.

Some days it doesn't pay to steal.